2001-09-30 12:18 a.m. Why didn't you people tell me that Saturday tends to be when, oh, All of America tends to do its shopping? Huh? I had no idea. And I place the blame squarely on you. No not you. That guy. Back there. with the ketchup stain on his shirt. Yeah buddy. Thanks for nothing. Aaaaannnyway... Today I bought my first gift off a Wedding Registry. Thank You. Thankyouverymuch. A toaster oven. I'm so proud. Then I headed over to the mall. I needed new dress pants. Apparently, when your clothes say 'Dry Clean Only' they mean it. Oh yeah they do. So right now, the score is: Mike's Dryer One, Mike Zero. In my defense, I musta been drunk or half-asleep when I threw my good dress pants in with my other dark clothes. The sober, mentally aware version of me knows not to wash and dry wool pants. But then again, the sober, mentally aware version of me has been conspicuously absent lately. So yeah. Shopping was a bitch. There were too many people and not enough parking spaces. The kid behind the Customer Service desk at Target made no attempt to conceal the contempt with which he held me for having the audacity to ask if items on the registry were in stock. And the sales staff at the Hechts looked down their snooty-ass noses at me as I tried on all the expensive men's clothes while wearing my rumpled cargo shorts and an old Loyola t-shirt. But I did treat myself to some Auntie Annie's, so I suppose I can't complain. But the main injustice of the day is centered on the fact that I couldn't find a copy of Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits anywhere in the mall. Yeah, I know I can hit up Amazon or CDNow, but I wanted it today. And for those of you silently mocking my taste in music (this time, this does mean you!) I don't wanna hear it. Cherry Baby or Forever in Blue Jeans trumps Jay Z or N'Sync any day. Deal with that! Tomorrow is the Renaissance Faire. I loves me my RenFest. The Cousins are picking me up at 10, we're meeting the Sister and the broInLaw at noon. I plan to eat some Steak-On-A-Steak and get my palm read. Whee.... Other than shopping, the day was pretty damn productive. Laundry? Clean. Bathroom? Scrubbed. Room? Straightened. Teevee? Caught up on. I had taped a bunch of shows over the week and managed to watch them all today. Enterprise was pretty damn good. The West Wing kicks ass even in reruns. And Lost is disturbingly addictive, kinda like heroin. And speaking of reality teevee; did anyone catch The Mole II? I loved the first season, this season could get even better. Off to bed.... That's the anthem, get your damn hands up! downtown----uptown leave me a note, fool!

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