MYSELF

Make up a name for yourself: Cap'n Bitchass (No, I don't know what that means...)

Where were you born? Maryland, sweet Maryland

And when was this? The year of our Lord, 1977

What are your parents' names? Walter Louis, Jr. and MaryJane

MORNING

What's your favorite breakfast cereal? Hmmm... Straight up tie between Corn Pops and Golden Grahams

What's the first thing you do upon waking? Smack the shit out of the clock radio

Coffee or orange juice? Eeeewww...Coffee is gross. OJ, baby!

Stop to smell the roses or rush to work/school?Neither. Stop at the BK for a croissan'wich.

What is your morning bathroom routine? Alarm, alarm, alarm; snooze, snooze, snooze, *hot* shower, dress, grumble, etc...

Toast or pop tart?I think I've already made my position clear.

Sex in the morning or at night? Morning breath be damned; there ain't nothing better than Lovin' in the Morning.

Do you have normal sleeping habits?Umm...I sleep alot.

How many hours of sleep do you average?Usually about five.

Do you get on the Internet before work/school?No...no time.

Do you change your underwear regularly?What the hell kind of question is this? Of course I do.

Sing in the shower?Usually. And they tend to be Disney tunes. Seriously, shut up.

Flex in the mirror?Nahh... I'm not that vain.

Butter or Margarine? I'm gonna copy Urs again: "I love butter, I eat margarine."

NOON

What's your favorite fast food place? Aww... c'mon, don't make me make this decision...

Take out, drive thru, or eat in?Take out. To quote Leo Goetz, "The fuck you at the drive through."

Bring your lunch or eat from a vending machine? Bring my lunch and snack from the vending machines!

Eat in a group or alone? Depends on my mood. Usually alone. But that's just 'cause people tend to piss me off.

Would you like fries with that? Of course.

Gossip? I don't know who told you that. Never. Or something.

Do you brush your teeth after every meal? No, sir. But I probably should.

Chew Trident? I don't really chew gum. I tend to swallow it.

Are you eating anything right now? No, but there's some ice cream with my name on it upstairs.

Ever had, how you say, a nooner? Heh heh heh. Not since college. But back then. Umm... yes. Many.

Favorite TV Dinner: Grilled cheese with clam chowdah. (New England of course)

Favorite Candy Bar: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Favorite chewing gum: Helllooo? We already covered this.

Does loud chewing bother you? There's not much that truly bothers me; just bad traffic manners.

Do you talk with your mouth full? Not usually. Unless I feel like it.

NIGHT

What is your favorite sleeping position? Honestly? Spooning.

Do you dream in color or black and white? Color.

Do you sleep alone? Sadly, yes.

Have you ever been in a bar? When you buy your bartenders Christmas cards, I think that's a sign of something.

How about a gay bar? Yeah. My friend Jenny and her girlfriend took me to one. It was actually a ton of fun.

Do you drink? Diet Pepsi on the weeks, a little something called 'beer' on the weekend.

Do you drink and drive? I *try* not to. Urs, you're gonna have to kick my ass. I did last weekend.

How about drugs, do you do those? Not since college.

Do you carry condoms? Don't you know that if you carry them in your wallet, they'll get holes? C'mon rookie!

Tell me a recent dream: Let's just say it involved Faith Hill and lots and lots of vegetable oil....

What are you doing next Saturday night? I'm game for anything. Ideas?

What do you sleep in? Nothing. Seriously. Unless I have a cold. Then I sleep in a Nyquil-induced haze.

Kiss and tell? Always.

What is your favorite sexual position? That one where we're both naked...you know that one....