2002-02-14
11:03 p.m.

Only because the Greeting Card/Candy Hearts/Soft Rock Radio Syndicate will have my head if I don't give lip service to today...

Valentine's Day. Feh.

Hey, I never said it'd be good lip service. Hmm...what to write about? Nothing I really want to right now. Going away this weekend. Looking forward to that. Up in the woods with naught but my sister, broInLaw, and cousin. Expect pictures.

Kinda seeing this girl. Not gonna write to much about her yet. (or ever. maybe.) Let's just say, I like her one day, I like her-like her the next, and so on. I waffle. Deal.

But, yeah, I'm kinda in a blah-type mood tonight. So, I think I'll just post a forwarded email I answered at work today. Keep in mind that my answers were sent to coworkers, hence the in-office references and mentions of "work-appropriatness."

Here it is. I'll write more on Sunday night maybe. Or monday.




1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Probably some quiet cove off the bay on the Eastern Shore .

2. What's THE MOST MEMORABLE THING YOU HAVE READ?
My first paycheck after getting a real job.

3. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?
Cargo Shorts. (Oh, do my Tevas count?)

4. FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE SAME & OPPOSITE SEX?
Awwww, come on. Do I have to answer this one in a work-appropriate manner?
opposite sex, probably the butt. But I've got a thing for a good smile and a nice set of...eyes.
same sex, sheesh. I dunno. Probably the best physical feature a guy could have would be being uglier than me. Makes me look good to the women of the world.

5. WHAT'S THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
Bare Naked Ladies greatest hits album.

6. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?
drunk. wherever that is.

7. WHERE'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE TO BE?
I'll give you a hint. Say hi to Lorenzo, take the elevator to the 2nd floor, hang a left and walk through the door. That general area.

8. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED?
Hahahahahaaaa.... Another answer that could get me fired. The shoulders and lower back. Even though I am super-ticklish.

9. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY?
Well, I hate stupid people. Literally I hate them They make me tense and unhappy and they should all just pack up their stuff and go find an island or something where they can all be stupid together and lead their stupid little lives. So, I guess, the mind is most important to me.

10. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING?
Should? 6:30 Do? 7:05.

11. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
A massive 7-way tie.
Boston Public/Scrubs/Ed/West Wing/Dawson's/Enterprise/Any of the Survivors

12. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
Mom. (did I say that? Was that wrong?) Ok, ok. The bread maker. Or the Forman grill.

13. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD MEMORY?
Blowing up my GI Joes or maybe the time I shorted out my entire house and got knocked across the room by the shock.
And to think I haven't grown up to be either a psycho and/or a pyro.

14. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Lots of stuff. People falling down. People walking into things. People who have to put their foot in their mouth. Stupid people. Dilbert.

15. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY?
You know those days where you get to work with a solid idea of how your day is going to go and you start working along those lines and then someone comes and throws their stupid little issue right ON TOP OF everything you were doing and they want an answer right there, oh yes they do, so you help them and they go away and you start to go back to what you were doing before but then your phone rings and oh my god this report isn't running correctly or maybe we keep getting kicked out of the system or I lost the same report I lose every other damn day and it's just one thing after another after another after another until it all fades into one red hot haze of anger and cynicism and rage that can only be cured by the sweet sweet release that is the 7-11 Blue Raspberry Slurpee. So there's that. And people who can't find their turn signal.

16. IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
the Banjo. Seriously. Shut UP! Seriously.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT/CAFE/EATERY?
Oh no. Don't make me answer this. Please. Ok, fine. But you have to realize that if I had to give a gold medal to my favorite restaurant(s) the world would run out of gold faster than the Olympic Figure Skating judges have run out of excuses.
Anything Litte Italy/McCormick and Schmick's/Nacho Mama's/Baja Fresh/Arby's

18. SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?
Every morning about 8:35am.

19. IF THERE WAS A MOVIE MADE ABOUT YOU, WHAT HOLLYWOOD STAR WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY YOU?
Hooch from the Tom Hanks classic, 'Turner and Hooch'

20. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE?
I do. But mostly I believe in Life After. Like Life After Work. Life After Friday. S'what I live for, in fact.

21. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?
"Daddy Cries because of Something You Did." Whaaat? No one else had to read that? What kind of twisted nursery school did I go to?

22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
Old Bay. Oh, not 'seasoning?' Summer, then.

23. WHAT'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE?
Waking up.

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? JUST ONE:
Flight.

25. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
I don't have one (yet) but I've always wanted a little Maryland flag, or maybe just the cross from the Flag. Where? I'll leave that up to you.

26. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
I juggle my personal life and my job all the time. You know how I've only worked one full week this year? My personal life usually wins.

27. THE SONG YOU WISHED YOU HAD WRITTEN?
I dunno. None really. I like to sing 'em in the car, not to write 'em.

28. THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO?
My Grandfather.

29. DO YOU PREFER CATS OR DOGS?
Dogs. I don't trust cats. They're up to something.

30. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?
All the quiet hopes and solemn promises of dreams left unfulfilled. That, and jumper cables.

31. FROM THE PEOPLE YOU E-MAILED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Probably no one. I mean, we're all hard at work right?

32. WHO'S LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Me. Because then I'd be emailing myself and that's one road to patheticness I'm not ready to travel. Yet.

33. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
My birthday. Because then I'm justified in pretending that it's All. About. Me.

34. FAVORITE SONG TO SING?
John Denver "Country Roads" Jimmy Buffet "A Pirate Looks at 40" Paul Simon "Late in the Evening."

35. WHAT ONE WORD WOULD DESCRIBE YOU BEST?
Godlike.

36. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Fun!

37. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SUPERHERO?
It has to be Batman. Here's why. Batman had no super powers. None. Superman? Came from Krypton; faster than a speeding bullet. Spiderman? Bitten by a radioactive spider; shoots webs from his hands. Wonder Woman? Something about an invisible airplane and a lasso or something. The point is, Batman was just a regular Joe. A mighty determined regular Joe, but regular all the same. And *still* he was on par with Superman and Spiderman and Wonder Woman. So, yeah, he gets my vote. Yes I have put alot of thought into that. Yes I do actually work sometimes. Yes I do resent the implication. A loser? A LOSER? Now you just stop right there you stupid, good for nothing sack of..... HEY Where are you going? Come back......




downtown----uptown
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