2002-03-13 7:09 p.m. There are days like today where I feel incredibly detached from everything. Like I'm walking through some kind of museum exhibit where modern-day life is depicted, but not actually lived. Where the reality of now hits you on an intellectual level but not on any kind of emotional one. I feel like I'm watching the world on tv. I am a couch potato to reality. I don't like feeling this way and I don't know where it comes from. It's not an all-the-time kind of thing. It's not something that defines who I am. And yet, it happens often enough that I can't shrug it off. I'm detached. Not constantly, but enough that it makes me think that there's something wrong. That there's something wrong with me. I listen, but I don't hear. I look, but I don't see. I smile, but not all the way. Colors are all around, but I can only see the shades of grey. I know it'll end. I may get home from work, or wake up tomorrow to find me back to the way I usually am. The way I should be. But I know the detachment will return. If only I knew from which direction I could keep it away. But I don't. And that scares me. downtown----uptown leave me a note, fool!

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