2002-04-25
11:02 p.m.

Damn you Ursula, damnnnn yooooooou!



1. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others
Well, I hate to lead with a cliche, but definitely the eyes. I know, I know.

2. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?
My question is: who the fuck would answer 'no' to this? Ignorant bastards.

3. Would you marry for money?
Nahhh. But it would be an added bonus.

4. Have you had braces?
From the 8th grade through sophomore year of high school. There's nothing like a zitty, metal-mouthed geek to attract the ladies, I tell ya.

5. Do you pluck your eyebrows?
Bwaaah? I am but a simple-minded man. I know nothing of plucking or waxing or other things of that nature. Know what I know? Soap. And shampoo. Sometimes.

6. Do you ever cut or hurt yourself?
Again, bwaaaaah? I am but a naive 20something and know nothing of such deep-rooted emotional trauma.

7. When was the last time you had a hickey?
Hmmm....maybe a month ago. And no, there was no vacuum cleaner involved.

8. Could you live without a computer?
If I had to. But I wouldn't be thrilled about it.

9. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc..?
I'm an AIM junkie. If you ask real nice, I just may give my screen name.

10. If so, how many people are on your list(s)?
Many. More than I can keep track of.

11. If you could live in any past time period, which would it be?
To live? Mid-1700's or Mid-1800's. Why? I'm afraid the answeres will make me out to be too much of a geek.

12. Do you drink enough water?
Yes. Now back off.

13. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?
Usually off, but it's not like it's a 'thing' or anything.

14. What is your favorite fruit?
Strawberry. (Urs... Christopher Lowell. Ha!)

15. Do you eat wheat bread or white?
Ummm.... what is a Chalupa shell made out of?

16. What is your favorite place to visit?
Reality.

17. What is the last movie you saw?
Panic Room. A pretty cool movie if you start to think that everything's going on in her head.

18. Do you kiss on the first date?
Depends. Are you cute?

19. Are you photogenic?
Well, I like pictures of me, but then again I like salsa and potato chip sammiches, so take my answer with a grain of salt.

20. Do you dream in color or black and white?
I dream in monochrome. Orange monochrome.

21. Are you wearing fingernail polish?
No, goddamit.

23. Do you have any dimples?
Heeeee. Yes. Two I'll let you see and two more I'll let you see later tonight.

24. Do you remember being born?
What? I mean really. What? Who can honestly say they remember that? Are we running out of questions?

25. Why do you take surveys?
I don't know. But I know I can't stop.

26. Do you drink alcohol?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Oh...oh...oh my god. That's funny. That is too much. Do I drink alcohol? Bwwwaaaaaaaa hahahahhaahhahahhaaaaaaaa. Maaaaaaybe.

27. Did you like or do you like high school?
I think I did then but, looking back, am not so sure it was healthy for me.

28. What is the most beautiful language?
The international...umm... tounge of sweet, sweet lovin'.

29. When you are asleep do you like being kissed awake?
Yes, yes, yes. And also, yes.

30. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?
Sunsets.

31. Do you want to live to be 100?
I don't know what I want to do next weekend.

32. Do you think women should be expected to shave their body hair?
Uhh...all their hair? I don't really want any hate mail, so I'll give an honest/mature and not smartass answer. I don't think anyone should be expected to do anything.

33. Do you like salty food or sugary food the most?
Salty. Preferably involving margarita mix.

34. Is a flat stomach important to you?
Not so much.

35. Do you or have you played with a ouija board?
Yes. I don't like the way it makes me feel. I don't like to talk about it either.

36. Are you loyal?
As long as it's warranted.

37. Are you tolerant of other people's beliefs?
It depends. As long as their beliefs don't infringe on freedom or justice, sure.

38. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?
I don't care. Just no talking!

39. Do you believe in magic?
Then don't bother to choose if it's jug band music or rhythm and blues....

40. Do you have nightmares frequently?
Every night. I dream I have to wake up way too early and go and sit in a room for hours on end where the only human contact I have will involve pasty and vaguely angry people. Disturbing, I know.

41. Do you like your nose?
Whaaaaaat? I'm so confused. What's the point of this question? Also, who cares? I hate this survey.

42. Do you like abstract art?
No. It pisses me off. Next question.

43. Do you think you can draw well?
Depends. Fighter jets raining destruction on the forces of evil? Yes. Flowers and bunnies and dandilions? No.

44. Do you listen to music daily?
Hey, I do write the songs that the whole world sings. Or is that Barry Manilow?

45. Do you like to watch cartoons?
I am a cartoon. Next question.

46. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?
24.

47. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?
None. They're all beside my bed.

48. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?
Honestly, most mornings I'm lucky if I remember to wear shoes.

49. Do you write poetry?An occasional haiku.

50. Do you snore? Yeah. And if that's a problem, get out of my bed.

51. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?
Mostly on my side.

52. Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?
Feh. Neither. Chocolate Lab for me.

53. Do you lick stamps?
No, I use those stickers.

54. Do you use an electric can opener?
Electric can openers are for pussies.

55. Have you ridden in a hot air balloon?
No. I hate this survey.

56. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
Physical. Because I assure you; nothing will hurt more than the ass of the author of this damn survey after I shove it right up there with my boot.

57. Do you think balding men should shave their heads?
I don't care. Also, this survey sucks.

58. Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed?
I think most of us are clinically depressed.

59. Do you prefer a piano or a violin?
Piano. I hate this survey.

60. Are you a sex addict?
Nope. I just have a healthy level of interest.

61. Do you know someone who has cancer?
So we're going from sex to cancer? I gotta go get a drink.

63. Do you hunt?
You know that feeling you get after watching, say, an hour of Jerry Springer? How it was a good idea at first but after a while you just feel cheap and like you wasted your time. I'm kinda feeling that way now.

64. Do you like fast food joints, or expensive restaurants?
I would rather not discriminate.

65. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
Depends. Are there monkies at the art museum?

66. Do you have a middle name?
Joseph.

67. Are you basically a happy person?
Yes.

68. Are you tired?
Yes. On every level. Physically tired. Mentally tired. Tired of this damn survey.

69. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?
No. Other than 6 Diet Pepsis.

70. Have you ever met anyone off the internet?
Sure have. Kristy and the alluring Carrie. And I'll be meeting my work-time email procrastination buddy before the summer's out.

71. How many phones do you have in your house?
5. And i try not to answer a damn one of them.

72. How long is your hair?Short.

73. Do you get along with your parents?
Better than I ever have.

74. What color of eyes do you prefer?
Grey, green or bright blue.

75. Are you an active person?
I try to be. Unless I'm not.

76. What medications do you take?
Diet Pepsi. Harp. Jameson.

77. What does your bedroom look like?
I have a full sized bed with one of those bookshelf/headboards that I refinished myself. A big TV. My computer desk and a dresser that I refinished myself to match the headboard. I've got a lot of dark blue/deep greens and with my exposed brick walls the whole thing is very mid90's Polo-ish. And books. I have a ton of books. And some pictures.




.....Is this damn survey finished? At least it's over. It was fun, but could also be tedious and at times downright annoying. Kinda like Dawson's Creek.

I still hate this survey.

Also, I hate this survey.


downtown----uptown
leave me a note, fool!


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