2002-05-03 9:47 a.m. So I talked to her on the phone last night. You have no idea who she is, and to tell you the truth, I'm 100% ok with that. Really the only perk to being home sick yesterday (other than the walking -around-in-the-underwear) was the fact that she has AIM at work, and I don't but, oh yes, I do at home. So we chatted. Twice. For quite some time. And it was good. I felt kind of bad, because the last convo ended when I had to leave somewhat abruptly. I worried about that. I hoped she didn't think I was rude. Cruising around with the roomie a little later, I realized that there was something I forgot to bring up on AIM. So I called her. Well, called her cell. We've been emailing so much, there really isn't a need to chat after work. So I didn't have her home number. Anyway, getting back to the point. I called her. And we talked. And I smiled. And I like her. And I hope she likes me. I called her because I asked her out, but both our schedules suck for the next two weeks, so we had no firm date. For the date. So we kind of set one. She has a wedding this weekend and is letting friends stay at her place, and I have a party this weekend. But, she suggested Sunday. As in "call me when you get up and maybe we can get together for dinner." She lives some way away so there really isn't too much just-stopping-by that's possible. So, the conversation was cool. I think. We have a date on Sunday. I think. I like her. She likes me. I think. But I don't know. I don't know anything at all. So, this morning, I sit at my desk and bask in my own insecurities. I have so many of them. This has all happened before and all gone straight to hell before and I never know what it is that whoever the she is is thinking and I hate that but know that'll never change and I just wonder when it's all going to come together. For me. ...I was just reading what I wrote and realized that it doesn't really paint me in a very good, emotionally grounded, light. I don't care. Fuck you. downtown----uptown leave me a note, fool!

designed by mocksie. brought to you by diaryland.