2002-05-23 10:25 a.m. What's up with St. John's Wort? I bought some over at the GNC the other day. My visit to the GNC marks my first visit to the GNC since I was banned from the one back where I grew up. Not my fault, I assure you. It's just that the back-home GNC was right next to a toystore which happened to sell nerf footballs which happened to get tossed into the GNC which happened to have slippery floors which happened to make me slip and fall as I was trying to prevent said nerf from colliding with GNC customer which happened to cause me to knock over a rack of Metabolife or some shit. So I've felt guilty for quite some time and took the ban a little too seriously. Not that I would have shopped at the GNC. In my mind, if a vitamin doesn't come in a form that can be easily a.)mixed with tequila or b.)dipped in bleu cheese, I'm not interested. But, I've been hearing about this St. John's Wort, which from what I understand is like the poor man's Prozac, so I decided to get me some of that there pill. Or vitamin. Or whatever. Not that I think I need Prozac. Up until a few weeks ago, work had just sucked and I was an all-around unhappy person. So I thought to myself "If I could take some kind of suppliment to make the sun a little shinier, that'd be good, right?" And then I thought "Let's go find some Taco Bell." But that has nothing to do with anything. So, I started popping one St.JW a day. And the damn buggers were working. I was happier at work. Life, let me tell you, was a-ok with me. And then I read that, statistically, I could be taking a placebo and be getting the same results. Stupid St.JW, not really doing anything other than wasting my $7. But I kept taking them because, you know, I spent $7. It's the principle of the thing, ok? And, dammit, the filthy little not-doing-shit pills were still working. I know they don't work. I know I could re-label my frozen chicken nuggets in the freezer and get the same effect. Doesn't matter. They. Still. Work. WTF? And now I start to realize that I could throw the rest of them away. It'd be something like $6.50 down the drain. But that wouldn't matter. Why? Because it's not the damn pills (vitamins. suppliments. whatever.) that make me happy. It's something else. Something else has put me in a very good mood lately. And it's the type and quality of good mood that absolutley cannot be replicated. Not even by St. John's Wort. Or a placebo. downtown----uptown leave me a note, fool!

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