2002-09-27 10:52 a.m. The Management regrets to inform you that the entity formerly known as 'Charmcity' no longer exists. In what can only be referred to as an unprecedented scientific phenomenon, the 25 year old human male has been transformed into the physical manifestation of a loud sniffle. Before his demise and/or transformation, Charmcity had complained of "being stuffy and congested" and indeed his head had swelled to 8 times its normal size. Early this morning, coworkers noticed an unusal sound coming from his office. Asked to describe what the physical manifestation of a sniffle looked like, one of his coworkers would only offer, "Really, really disgusting." All this to say: I'b rully rully stubby. I thought it was allergies, but nooooooo. Allergies go away when you change locations. Bitch-ass colds stay with you. Why? I think the name is self explanitory. And here's the worst part. You go to sleep with a stuffy nose convinced you will never get to sleep. There's no way; you feel way too crappy. But you do fall asleep. And, if you have weird sudafed-induced dreams, at least you're getting shuteye. And then you wake up and take inventory. "Hey," you think "I can breath fine. I must be all better." But if you said that, you'be a huge idiot. You're not fine. Try getting out of bed. What happened? That's right. All the...ummm...snot just shifted right back and stuffed you up all over again. Thinking you'd kicked the bitch-ass cold. Stupid bastard. All the same, shit's getting done at work. I don't rest on my laurels. (Wait, what? That made no sense in this context. Sue me.) I'll have you all know that, due to my decision and mine alone,...drumroll...... the computer systems of one of the largest privately-held companies in the nation will be down from 3 until 3:30 this afternoon. No, no, no applause please. Lay hands on your child? Of course, I'm generous with the power I yield. And finally, big news in the world of charmcity dot diaryland dot com. And by "big" I really mean "impressive to me and me only." I have a banner. Nothing hip, nothing cool, nothing flashy. I'm new to this whole make-your-own-web-graphic world, but it's all mine and it points people right here. If I've made just one person think that I am the end all be all of human existence, then I've done my job. Quite well, I might add. If clicking the banner has brought you here, welcome. And love me! For those of you that haven't seen it, here it is: ...just for kicks, I've linked the banner to the now-infamous picture of my ass. Enjoy! downtown----uptown leave me a note, fool!

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