2002-10-18 4:15 p.m. As it turns out, I did not throw up and die last night. Not that I didn't claim that that's exactly what I wanted to do. Not that I would have had a real problem with either a.) throwing up or b.) death. But it's probably a good thing I didn't. I've decided however, that I'm never drinking again. Ever. Ok, that's a dirty lie. I'm never drinking on a weeknight ever again. What? Lie? Dirty? Why yes. Good eye, sly one. No, I love the sweet embrace of inebriation too much to give up the sauce for good, but if I cut down on drinking stupidly a-la-last-night, I think I'll be a happier camper. or drinker. Or whatever. My problem last night was that I broke rule #1 of the Drinker's Code. El stomacho was emptyo. (Rule #2 is the 'Seriously, They're Not as Good Looking as You Think Statute) So there I was, out on the kickball field in the chilly October wind and rain wondering how I'd stay warm. God help me, I couldn't think of a way. I decided if I couldn't warm up, I'd put the keg our team brought to good use and get good and numb. And yes, it worked. Too well as it turned out. Our team, the team that had so far gone 0 - 2, came alive. Runs were scored, opposing team members were accidentally kicked in the head and the beer flowed like...well.. beer. We won. For the love of all that's holy, we won. I know what you're thinking. The answer is; of course we polished off the keg by doing celebratory keg stands. And then we staggered to the bar. The bar where the losing team had to buy us shots. After that, things get somewhat fuzzy. I remember a friend telling me that she loved her boyfriend but loved her vibrator too. I remember kicking ass at Golden Tee 2003. I remember being very concerned that the ID and ATM card that I'd stashed in my hat were going to fall out. Later I remember the short order grill and I remember very specifically why I'll never use their bathroom ever again. Ever. Ehh. Ver. Getting up and coming to work this morning was somewhat of a...well, it sucked ass. Big fat sweaty donky ass. Last night was fun, I just need to remember where my limits are. I've learned my lesson, right? (Answer: No.) downtown----uptown leave me a note, fool!

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