2002-11-15 1:29 p.m. Seriously, when am I going to learn that I'm not allowed to speak to others before, oh let's say 9am? Anything earlier and we're just courting disaster. Which is to say, I think we can take the 'New Employees Mike Has Creeped Out' list and add one more name to it. Fade in on an elevator. It is empty. The doors slide open as two people enter and push their respective buttons. Me: Mornin'. Her: Good Morning. How are you this morning? Me: Oh, not like, you know, awake yet. Or anything. How are you? Her: Ok, I guess. I left the light on in my car and killed my battery. Again. Me: Ouch. That sucks. But you managed to make it to work on time, so it's all good. Her: Yeah, my boyfriend is a mechanic so that's one of the benefits of living with him. Me: Yeah, it must be nice to have someone close by that will jump you whenever you need it. Her:Oh yeah..wait...WHAAAT? Elevator Door: Ding! Me: Jump. You know, like jumpstart. With the cables and the battery and the faint fear of electrocution. My Inner Monologue: Jump? Electrocution? Cut your losses. CUT YOUR LOSSES! Shut up and get to your office. NOW!!! Her: Umm, yeah, that's what I thought you meant. Well, see ya. Me: (calling after her) Yeah! See ya! (mumble mumble not as creepy as you think. seriously.) Inner Monologue:Nice going. Ass. downtown----uptown leave me a note, fool!

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