2002-04-05 4:55 p.m. I am, I admit, confused. And I'm not a man that confuses easily. Ok, ok, I take that back. I confuse very easily. (side note: can 'easily take a modifier? Or is it like 'unique' in that it either is or is not. In other words, are there degrees of easy? But I digress...) Really, in some situations confusion and Mike go hand in hand. It is not at all uncommon for me to wake up in the middle of the night and lie in bed for what seems like forever trying to decide where exactly I am. Those old algebra questions, "A train leaves Memphis at 3:23 carrying a load of iron-ore and crack whores bound for Baton Rouge. What time will it pass the rusted out remains of your math teacher's dignity if said remains are flying straight to hell at the speed of light because it was discovered that he liked to jerk off while watching the JV volleyball team change?" Ok, aparrently I've dredged up some old memories here. What I'm trying to say is that maybe I do tend to confuse easily - but not on things that matter. News, political intrigue, the inner workings of my business, Trivial Pursuit questions - I get it. All of it. Could talk for hours explaining it all to you. Earlier today I got this forward from a coworker. And I can't for the life of me understand the point it's trying to make. "WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 ARAB TERRORISTS THAN WITH A SINGLE JEW" This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia. Most would be outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups from all across the country would be marching on this business. And that the National Guard might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back. But, perhaps in these stressful times one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement. We are a society who holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty. And after all it is just a sign. You may be asking what business would dare post such a sign? GOLDBERG'S FUNERAL HOME See what I mean? What does *that* mean? Is the message that we should be careful what assumptions we make in this day and age because we don't know the situation of those behind the assumptions? I don't necessarily have a problem with that message - It's a good one to be sure. But who would really posta message like that on the outside of their store? Moreover, even if it were true, just because it's a Jew putting down Jews in general doesn't make it right. That's why I've always hada problem with people who say "No, no , no, don't worry about it. I can make fun of our hometown because I'm *from* there." Yeah, well you know what dude? In addition to 'our' hometown, it's also 'my' hometown and I happen to take a little umbrage at people who constantly toss it under the bus. The whole forward struck me as vaguely anti-semetic, which I was not at all comfortable with. It's like the author wanted to say "Look! Even Jews hate Jews!" Hey, buster, take your backwards thoughts back to 1938 where they didn't even belong in the first place. So, in the end, I'm still confused. I worry that someone might read that forward and take it for insightful thought when, at best it's nothing more than idiotic blathering and, at worst, is a condemnation of one of the world's great faiths. Oh yeah, magic - that confuses me too. downtown----uptown leave me a note, fool!

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