Ok, that's not fair; nor is it one word.

I am having a surreal day. Absolutely surreal. It was annoying at one point. Then it became frustrating. Now it is finally becoming funny.

I should've known today would be slightly off-kilter. Should've seen it coming. When I was driving into work, I watched as two cops changed a woman's tire in the pouring rain and she was neither pregnant nor highly attractive. "Wow," I thought to myself, "there really are decent people out there. What nice cops..." How naive of me. Now I realize that cops don't do that - they *never* do nice things like that in Baltimore. If you get your keys locked in your car, they tell you to call a locksmith. If you get mugged on the street, they tell you there isn't anything they can do. What I saw didn't make sense. It was really god telling me today wouldn't make sense and that today was going to be an uphill battle. God was right.

Most of what is frustrating/surreal revolves around the people I work with. Apparently, they are trying to impress me with the level of their stupidity. They're doing a pretty good job.

I have my moments, believe me. But I think -everyone- in this building is having a moment today. I'm explaining why two different reports yeild two different sets of data. I'm explaining that even though I forgot to name the tabs of an excel spreadsheet, that the data is of the same type it is every other week. I'm explaining that even though I use our databases, I have no control over how fast or slow they run.

I'm going to take the advice of respected psychologists Milli Vanilli and "blame it on the rain."

If I could choose one word to describe my level of interest in work right now, it'd be: not that high.

***********************

Here's an update for ya' (and I swear I'm not making this up...)

Mark: Mike, you ran a report for me in March of 2000. I'm going to need one exactly like that, but for 2001 information.

Me: I can't remember what I did yesterday and you want me to remember a minor report I ran in MARCH OF 2000!?!

Mark: Yeah, if you could get that to me asap, that'd be great!

Me: Bwaahh???

Oi Vey......